Bruised but not broken

For what am I pretending to be strong for, I can't understand. I probably like the feeling of shouldering weights on my shoulder, feeling powerful and in control. But I feel the strain all the same, my strength wavering.

But I plough on.

**

My health has been deteroriating recently :( Let's see, in the year 2007 I've missed school in total of 6 days.

As a result I can't attend Vanessa's party tomorrow with super much regret. It was a get together with 2C again! Sorry my partney but I hope you'd have a great and fantastic party all the same! Happy sixteenth, with much love and joy and the heart that wishes you all the best in everything! Thanks for always brightening up my day <3

**

I forget normal humans crumble one day. I forget how we aren't able to do everything. But once you achieve something, you have this insatiable hunger for more. To achieve to the best of your potential. The motivation makes me hang on and go for it all the way. Because the feeling of being successful is good. I found a rhythm to life. But once I stop and rest all of a sudden, I feel so insecure and tired now I've disrupted it.

And I feel my tired limbs. My bloodshot eyes staring and churning out work after work till the wee hours. The pain in the head increasing as time passes. And when bad coughing breaks the momentum of typing and thinking..

I feel damn pathetic and sore.
I feel tired.
I want to take a rest and just stop.

And I really will forget sometimes, I'm no Superman. Really am not no matter how hard I remind myself to be, remind myself I can do it with everything on my platter and still do it well, in the end it all comes down to the fact that

I'm really just human.