Dear Aunt Agony

I am currently in a state of mess today. I have already marked today as Biology day, when I am supposed to swim in a pool of facts and afterwards drink the entire pool of water up. It all started pretty fine when I awoke early to sounds of laughter from people in the pool and tennis courts. I started studying before my parents came back from breakfast and after they did, I ate my breakfast and went back.

Lunch came and I ate it while watching tennis and the awesome ridiculous Taiwanese idol drama. I cried and after that I went back to study. Who knew, Aunt Agony, I think the stress and the pressure of wanting to do well affected me so badly I was reading words and words through blurred vision. And I couldn't stop tearing after that! I tried to steady myself but hell, the tears came out. But it felt good during the aftermath (now). Mum came over and gave me a hug and helped me to relive stress but I just kept crying.

Well after I somewhat gained control I went out of the room to study and I cried some more! Because Dad saw how frazzled I was and said: "As long as you try your best, Daddy understands." (Oh no as I type that sentence some tears came)

How did such nice parents produce such a bitch of a daughter! Aren't I supposed to inherit their genes, hardworking, smart, nice? They are so understanding and all, and yet I have to let them down again and again. So anyway, Aunt Agony, I decided after much contemplation to come and blog because I have no other avenue. Other than crying, but it is very tiring.

There is no volleyball either. And I cannot binge on chocolate because it is very unhealthy. So I came to blog.But anyway thank God for the ties, I don't know what would have become of me without you guys! My emotional pillars, thank you for being there.

Anyway Aunt Agony, thanks for listening to my woes, I am certainly feeling so much calmer and less agitated now, you can feel an aura of Zen around me. I am still somewhat shaken though, I have never reacted this way to any form of pressure before. But well, someday mountains will fall.

Because I badly want to emerge victorious
Because I badly want to prove myself
Because I want to know if I really can do it
Because I do not want to live in regret
Because I do not want my life ruined
Because deep down I know I can
Because I want to take control
Because I really want to do well

But pray, only time would tell.