HEEELP

Sleep is like a flightless dream
Choking on the insomniac pill
The pill God slipped me
The headspin that will kill

Admist my sleeping thoughts at 3
The muffled tick of the clock won't stop
The screams in my ears won't cease
Silence the voices that mock

But they just won't stop
They just won't stop

----

Here's something new, I've still got insomnia. This has been ongoing for a week. It's not even new to me, check out last year's June. There's another day here. I'm pretty much desperate already, it's been on for a week and having an average 3 hours per night isn't going to make my brain any better. Today was the worst, it was so humid and my eyelids were soo heavy my head was searing with pain. Had to take water from the lab sink to nourish my eyes ha. Still had to do film. I was so tired I closed my eyes at the bus stop and almost fell asleep and almost missed the bus. Lucky I opened my eyes to see the last person almost boarding I got up. I really could fall into a deep sleep just then but I told myself I can sleep comfortably all I want at home.

Skipped dinner for the Nth time and then attempted to sleep at 8pm but surprise surprise after 2 hours I'm still bloody awake. Nearing desperation already. Tried everything. Imagined myself walking, imagine the impossible, tried falling asleep to English radio, Chinese radio, Classical music, my own ipod. Can't. Tried to eat something ended up getting tummyache. Tried to study the pain in the eyes and head escalates. Counting sheep is totally useless. Makes my head so.. locked up. Like someone stuffed cotton wool in your head. I can't even count the number of times I spike during training. The same feeling.

Not eating right, not sleeping right, not feeling the way I'm supposed to feel which is um, in control and happy? This is not going well at all with my study plan. I can study effectively when I'm feeling normal and not this. I can't readjust! I don't even know what's causing it. I'm not feeling majorly stressed. Maybe it's subconscious.

Things from Wiki:

1. Insomnia is a sleep disorde characterized by an inability to sleep and/or inability to remain asleep for a reasonable period. Insomniacs typically complain of being unable to close their eyes or "rest their mind" for more than a few minutes at a time. Both organic and nonorganic insomnia constitute a sleep disorder. It can be caused by fear, stress, anxiety, medications, herbs, caffeine, depression, or bipolar disorder and sometimes occurs for no apparent reason. An overactive mind or physical pain may also be causes. Finding the underlying cause of insomnia is usually necessary to cure it.
   
   
2. Three types of insomnia exist: transient, acute, and chronic. I have the 1st one.
   Transient insomnia lasts from one night to a few weeks. Most people occasionally suffer from transient insomnia due to such causes as jet lag or short-term anxiety. If this form of insomnia continues to occur from time to time, the insomnia is classified as intermittent.

Never thought there'd come a day when sleep is a luxury.