Amie, come sit on my wall

Nothing unusual, nothing's changed
Just a little older that's all
You know when you've found it
There's something I've learned
'Cause you feel it when they take it away
Something unusual, something strange
Comes from nothing at all
But I'm not a miracle and you're not a saint
Just another soldier on a road to nowhere

All too familiar feeling creeping up on me again. Never fails to do so, every single damned time. 2007 is a long, long extension of 2006. It feels like one long year from January till now, but 2007 just practically flew across my head. Soon, hello exams! Then byebye exams! Then hello holidays and byebye holidays! Then hello school then byebye school and it's hello death byebye life ok this is getting a bit too morbid.

Chains are holding me down, and I fully know what they are. But it's hard to cut loose isn't it. Sometimes, ok mostly I think without this particular chain things would be so much easier, so much clearer. But I choose to stick with it, dragging my feet against the floor feeling the weight. Other times this chain turns into something meaningful, something that brings me joy ironically. Next year I have a chance to cut this chain. I wonder if I'm brave enough to, but the voice in my head tells me someday, I long to be a free soul.

Oh God do you even understand what half the things I'm saying. Don't worry you're not the first. So it's a secret no one knows! But I share it between myself and my best friend Zhi Xin.

Feel suffocated, don't want to go back to school. It's the latest thing on everyone's minds now. Back to school?! Holidays haven't even started. So when teachers ask the inevitable almost rhetorical, "Had a good holiday?"

I'm going to scream my loudest yet.

I'm starting to worry for my sanity. You know, really start to wonder. Haha people have been telling me recently I'm not normal. Normally it's people who don't see you often that can really tell the changes that happen. Laughed long and true for the 3rd time this holiday. See I can even count the times with 1 hand. Love SR, totally abandoned my chords and just talked. We go back a long way actually, maybe 12 or 13 years ago. Lessons are always enjoyable with her around.

1st time was JM's unintentional Chinese sentence. 2nd time was talking about M with Melissa.

Me - "He has ink stains"
Melissa - *Laughs for damn long* "Ey don't be so mean"
Me - ?? "What mean! I just said he has ink stains!!"
Mel - *LAUGHS LIKE SUPER LOUDLY* "I thought you said, AND HE STINKS!!"
US - Laaaaaaaaaaugh non stop and damn hard

OMG I just laughed out super loudly in the middle of the night. That time I laughed till I had serious stomach pain. Melissa I have to remind you who was the one who snorted and wrote down SMELLY in ink. Ok I can't control I just laughed superrrr loudly (at midnight, imagine!)

Laughter really is a good medicine. I feel fine already. Fine from what? Fine from all the negative feelings just now. You know I had the inclination to go put my metal buttons on my shirt and pack my bag because it felt like there's normal school tomorrow!!!!! Isn't that insane?! Think so much until really think there's school. Siao.

Maybe tomorrow I'll really wake up at 6am automatically.

>> CALLING FOR ALL RELIABLE PSYCHIATRISTS AND SELLERS OF 8-BALLS. CONTACT ME THROUGH THE REALM OF AKAZANA (NO IDEA WTH IS THAT, JUST MADE IT UP)

P/S: My back is peeling from Sentosa! That's a first. Oh nooooo my nice tan just comes off. This is an unnatural phenomenon. Long sleeves from now on. I'm not entitled to a nice tan!! Damn.

P/P/S: Don't hate school per se, hate the school work.

Going to search for more laughter or continue killing my brain cells in chem! Thankfully I'm way ahead of others in homework because of kan-cheong people like Melissa. I wonder how her beach party went. Not replying my SMS so must be having a ball of a time.