Cos I had a bad day

I lazed in bed till 8:15. Training starts at 8:30 and we were supposed to reach at 8. But, who cares right. It was raining and it was cosy and I needed my sleep. Took my time and cabbed to school to find that they hadn't been doing anything other than sweeping the water off the courts anyway. But I really need to get this bad habit away from life -- Being late.

Training threw a huge rock at my morale. More than just a rock, a whale .. Anything heavy. I felt worse and so terribly angry at myself for deproving so much and not making any progress when it was evident I could push myself more, more, MORE. And I was not. I was just letting myself stay afloat at my comfort zone and not pushing myself to go to further heights. Where was the determination to improve? It just vanished with the onslaught of tiredness. The anger and the frustration took over me so bad I just shut myself up and blocked everything away to punish myself. Coach's nagging didn't mollify me, it made me more furious, for some reason or another, because I just couldn't get the position right. And he told me a million times at that. I guess blocking everything away as a punshiment wasn't such a grand idea after all. I swear I'd rise back up again. And thus I vented my frustrations on the net and the ball after training while waiting around. Smash smash smash hit hit HIT. Ah, destress. And I felt drained of energy anyway.

Went to Parkway for lunch with Cherie and Mel and as usual, my heart was considerably lighter with volleyballers. Team therapy. Ah, and zipped around and then back home

Chris and Szeying are over. And I was just .. just .. just shagged I rang the doorbell and no one came, I just sat on the chair and closed my eyes. After probably half an hour I called home and asked them to open the door. Dammit, see what hours of loud playstation does to your ears.

And now, back to work. I hate homework. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I hate it. Do it for me someone. I just hate it. It's useless. Time-wasting. Someone, do it fo me. Or I if only I could install some CD inside my brain and download all the textbooks or something.

OH DREAM ON.