Hello, Santa!
I never believed in Santa. I didn't hate him like the usual doubtful skeptic either. I followed Christmas like a kid in a candy store, waiting, waiting, waiting for the special day of the 25th of December. I yearned for the day to come, to tear off all the the neatly wrapped presents under the lavishly decorated tree to find exactly what I wanted. I knew Daddy and Mummy always had a way to find out what I want. I don't know how, but I always get what I want in the end. I don't even have to ask for it. I knew Daddy and Mummy were Santa.
I can still remember the past years, on this very day of Christmas Eve. I'd go to bed with such excitement of the coming day I couldn't get to sleep. I'd turn and toss in bed feeling all the Christmas spirit I soaked in all December. I'd see myself with what I want. I imagined my toys (or gadgets as I grew older). I'd fall to sleep smiling in my heart, knowing if I fell to sleep faster, the next day will come even faster too.
This year was different. A new year, a new age, more burdens and responsibilities. More sorrows to occupy my mind, more problems to occupy my heart. No longer carefree and, no longer a child. I have the suffix "teen" to my age now. The holidays came with extra worry. Every single day was occupied with something school related. Be it studying for the resit, or having trainings, friendly matches, or going to school for meetings. I hardly had the time for myself. Slowly, all thoughts and thrills of Christmas vanished. Though I did up the Christmas tree like the past years, I did it in hurry and worry, thinking that the time I use to do up this tree could be used to complete another 2 chapters of Chemistry. Though I heard Christmas carols, formulaes were ringing in my ears. Though Christmas related things were on TV, the only things I saw were my books and the courts. The grinch came and stole Christmas away from me.
But I am finally free from all the school-related hustle on Friday. But I still couldn't feel Christmas, at all. I thought maybe, I really am growing up. I was worried when I didn't feel the magic when I go to the airport anymore, or when I step into Sentosa. Yes, I did feel the funny thing going inside of my heart when I was young. It was like a bubble growing, something so delightful you can't contain. But as the years pass, I lost it.
And no, not Christmas too! I really didn't feel an inch of it. Didn't feel the Christmas spirit, the many lights strung across the tree did nothing to tug at the strings in my heart. I was scared maybe, that if I didn't feel it this year, I won't feel it again, ever. But hey, Santa came early and left me a bit of Christmas cheer! Just a few hours before midnight I truly felt the same way as I did in the past years.
The cold, the love, the excitement and the magic of this very special day. I got my presents throughout the year.
- Love and support from the family
- Close friends that are true and and will see me through in times of need and difficulty. You know who you guys are (The best present, ever)
- Feelings and emotions that I've never experienced before
- Love that I sought but never got (but I'm close this year :D)
- Friends that bring joy and laughter, that I look forward to seeing
- Wisdom and strength I never knew I had (Don't have much) but I gained and learned, and I grew
- Tears (A lot), sorrow and problems that helped me to reflect and grow and cherish the better parts of life
And these 7 presents mightn't be found wrapped nicely under the lavishly decorated tree, but they mean the most than all the rest of the presents I ever got. Christmas has suddenly taken on a whole new meaning.
Thanks to wonderful (not all the time) parents, I really felt Christmas every single year like a gem to be cherished. Like it's the most precious 24 hours in the entire year, like the special star atop the Christmas tree. And I promise myself, to never let the magic spirit that comes with the day vanish inside of me, and to spread it as much as possible, and to let my own kids (should I have them) feel the same way as I do every single year of their lives.
And lastly, a very Merry Christmas to you.