C'est la vie, c'est tout.

Wonder if life is just a one way trip to death. Oh no, wait- It is. But does life only go one way, does fate, destiny, and the like allow us to make multiple backtracks, to retrace our steps and then start again from where we went wrong? I think not.

It seems our entire life revolves over what we do over the next few years. Our lives seem to be decided by what we study or how we fare. Studying now seems like a matter of life and death. Like we fail our GPA and our life is ruined. It is somewhat true, but you see all those working, they don't focus on education anymore. It's more of a on-the-spot education, the one you get in the real life that really matters. Real world situations can no longer be dealt with by rote. Sometimes 1 + 1 doesn't always equate to 2. The boss might feel generous and give you 3, or might be displeased and take away 2 which leaves you with 0.

Was talking (no, discussing seriously) with the team how are our lives going to go. We touch on this subject again and again. Cherie, the President .. Mel the Tai-Tai? Oh we do that all the time. But this time it's something more serious, more pressing. It makes me think, it makes me really think.

There isn't even a manual to teach you to live, and yet there are so many restrictions cooked up by people. Is it all in the head, I wonder.

The real world seems to have no place for dreams and goals or desires in life. Practicality, the need to survive and of course, the all important money seems to override every notion of a "dream". Mel says to Get the money and then use it to fufill your dreams. But not everyone could wait that long. Sometimes the dreams can't be fufilled by money. It ultimately depends on skills (etc. volleyball) or the gift (etc. music). You just can't buy a place in a national team if you can't play for nuts. Even if you can, going by Mel's rationale, how old will you be when you earn enough money to relax and retire? Note, keyword is retire. Imagine a 59 year old lady playing volleyball.

Dad says 9 out of 10 people in the U are from the science stream. (Statistics not accurate, I can't really remember). Today many people don't dare to not conform to society's expectations. Because society wants a highly educated generation, because the regular 15 year old kid in Singapore would be studying, I should do it too. Being different invites critisisms, invites displeasure at causing would-be chaos because people wants order. So when people say oh, dreams are important, pursue your dreams. Choose what you want, what interests you. It's all bullshit. You won't get a chance to really pursue your dreams.

It's a paradox. The world spins, it makes my head spin too.