Never Say Never

I finished "Never Say Never" and it's a good book everyone ought to read. It's about lives of these few friends who knew each other since college, and then some others who joined in the clique in the U. And they said they'd have a reunion 5 years later which didn't materialize, but they did have some reunion in a hospital room many years later, after unfortunate circumstances. The twists momentarily stopped my heart. Figuratively.

And it's books like this that make really think about my future, what I would, what destiny holds. It may sound cheesy but there seems to be so much, so much in store I can't wait to find out what they are, good or bad, if my life's happy or sad. If I get to be with the man I love or sleep in the streets feeding strays. If I'd be a housewife or a labour coach. If I'd stay in Singapore or move away.. If I'd die, with no regrets.

The future seems so so unpredictable which leaves me excited to see what many more feelings and emotions I can savour, what many more trials and bad times I can endure. The new people I meet, the new experiences I can keep with me. Of course, the inevitable discovery about life, love, myself, people that I never knew then and will know when the time comes.

Will we still stay in touch with the people we love now, our parents, classmates, good friends and schoolmates. Or when we get out of school we enter a whole new life and leave everything behind.

The magnitute of what life really is, what the point of my existence is weighing down so much it takes time to comprehend.

And the phrase I was so awed by a few months back? Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breaths away. I don't quite agree with it anymore. Life's not about the perfect happy things. But also the negative horrible things. Because they are the things that make other things happy, right?

I'm in one of those dizzy happy fantasizing life-is-beautiful moods because of the fragrance of the night air, the kind I smell when it's near Christmas. And the smell and feeling of the winds always make me feel emotions and rake some thoughts. Maybe I was a wisp of wind in my past life. But when the stress, the negativity and all kicks in, hallelujah it's all about stupid life and life stinks. Reality check.

Okay I should end this uh, self-reflecting post here and now. To you, hope you're not feeling too distraught or feel regretful that that has happened because it did. Don't take it too hard, and one person less loving you doesn't mean the world doesn't love you anymore. I still do, we all do.

Take a breath, and it's time to let go.