Counting my blessings

Dear Santa,

Thank you for your presents. They were delightful!

Thank you for giving me friends who have stuck by me storm or shine and letting their personalities balance mine. Thank you for giving them to me to help me learn and grow.

And for a family that is safe and warm, and always loving me regardless.

Actually my list this year was blank. I have everything I need and want, and I really couldn't ask for anything more :D

Hopefully you had a blessed Christmas this year too :D

Joyeux Noel

Have a very merry Christmas. Remember to count your blessings :)

Pain is just another feeling

I close the door
Like so many times, so many times before
Filmed like a scene on the cutting room floor
I wanna let you walk away tonight
Without a word

I try to sleep, yeah
But the clock is stuck on thoughts of you and me
A thousand more regrets unraveling, ohh
If you were here right now, I swear
I'd tell you this

Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside is killing me
'Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you, to you

I wish that I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

I climb the walls, yeah
I can see the edge but I can't take the fall, no
I memorized the number
So why can't I make the call?
Maybe 'cause I know you'll always be with me
In the possibility

Baby I don't want to waste another day
Keeping it inside is killing me
Cause all I ever want, it comes right down to you, to you
I wish that I could find the words to say
Baby I would tell you every time you leave
I'm inconsolable

No no no
I don't wanna be like this
I just wanna let you know
Everything that I hold in
Is everything I can't let go
Can't let go, yeah

This song was stuck in my head during Cairns trip (Pictures will be up... Soon) and in training today. Huge bruises flowering on my both wrists, knees, and the side of my right leg. Not a pretty sight. I pulled something in my tricep I think, but hopefully it's just some severe ache. Want it to get better ASAP so I can train my spiking ):

Oh gosh I feel terrible. Sometimes days like this I feel like just giving up. Being brutally honest now. But I will survive and I will hang on!!!!!!!!!!!

Will be stronger than yesterday.

And tomorrow I will be stronger than today.

Ok. Volleyball chalet soon! Came home to get some shut-eye then going off again! Hopefully everything will be fine and dandy and fun and ... delicious.

Talking rubbish about 89% of the time already. The rest of the 11% I am tired and not talking thank you very much.

:D

Struggle

It's so hard to tell yourself some things, to make yourself believe. Because even if you tried, you probably won't convince yourself anyway. I have grown to learn to relax, that maybe things really won't just happen because you thought so or if you wished for it enough.

This course of road is laden with choices. You might pick some yet lose some along the way. What if what you picked was the wrong one, yet you can't pick the one you know is right for you, because your basket is already full? What if you had a fall, and everything in the basket falls out and you are left with nothing at all?

The more you have, the more you got to lose. Yet when you have nothing at all, you just want to stop moving on because you have no reason to.

These little things, might seem important now but won't remain so forever. It's really like John Mayer's song: "This will all make perfect sense someday".

But why not now?

G'day mate!

I hold it true, whate'er befall
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

Alfred, Lord Tennyson

I am little sorry I have to come back to Singapore because Cairns was a total blast! A proper post will be up soon with many many pictures that took my breath away! I was glad to be able to capture the moment in time. Yet much can't be seen from the pictures alone so I'm glad they're in my head!

Had weights training today, so many DHS people in the gym. Now I'm feeling weak and frail from the flu too. Ran so much today it's crazy! I hate running! But I'm very motivated. Haven't touched the ball in ages. I must be better I must be better!

All because of passion, all for the passion!

Be right back!

Off to Cairns, Australia with the Student Council! Sun, fun, sand, sea, good company, long plane rides await.

Back on 8th.